about the webmaster
im pavlov laika and i believe in saving the fucking earth!!
im a poly transgender dog therian, im the god-emperor of Ohio, im the unwilling participant in elon musks sick and twisted brainchip experiments, im a hazard to your community, im coMING TO YOUR FUCKING HOUSE
-ahem!
my government handler is NOOOOT demanding i write nicer words on the internet. OUCH OUCH OUWWWOUCHWOUCHIE OWIE AAUUGHHHH
pavlov laika is a literal dog. we keep turning up the voltage on his shock collar but he doesn't cooperate. it's a fucking nightmare honestly, if we could transfer this thing to another facility we would. believe me we've tried.
haha whats all that noice abouuutt!!! anyways
im 21 in human years, 900,420,569 in [REDACTED] years. im 9 feet long if you count my hair and tail! now (shhhhh) ok listen. im gonna tell you a biiig secret ok. when i break out of my kennel my biggest goal and dream is to convince other Earth things to go batshit crazy and take the planet's survival into our own paws.
that is - by doing some things which may or may not be approved by my handler! >:3c such things include but are not limited to:
- [REDACTED]
- [REDACTED]
- spay and neuter your fucking kittycats for the love of god!
- [REDACTED]
- 'night gardening'
- tree spiking
- incapacitating construction equipment (in whichever way is most convenient to u :3)
and just otherwise slowing industrial expansion / stopping societal reliance on technology & the advancement of it :3